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Bedtime Stories

Posted by MLGoodell on February 23, 2016 at 2:15 PM

Of all the interesting aspects of this most curious of curious elections perhaps the most remarkable is the urgency with which the prevailing media are trying to draw it to the close. Even though a mere four of the 57 American states have voted, pundits are throwing dirt on Marco Rubio’s coffin because he hasn’t managed to win a single election. Donald “Il Duce” Trump, on the other hand, is the hands down winner, having dropped only a single campaign, and that to Ted Cruz, the Emmanuel Goldstein of contemporary American politics, who is incapable of winning because he can’t even poll a plurality of Evangelical voters in South Carolina.


No, Tump towers over all other candidates by virtue of his having a ceiling of 35% of Republican primary voters, and as any student of history will tell you, 35% is a yuuuge margin. Hell, the best Hitler ever managed was 34%, and look at how that turned out. I’m telling you, the man knew supply chain management, believe me.


On the other side of the spectrum, a quick sampling of Nevada Caucus headlines have Hillary Clinton winning easily, handily, decisively. Her easy, handy and decisive victory pretty much marked the end of Bernie Sanders’ quixotic quest to give free things to everybody (except the evil rich, who will be made to pay, like they are in Denmark).


Parsing the numbers shows that Hillary easily nailed down 52.5% of the Nevada caucus vote, while Sanders struggled to convince a paltry 47.5% of Nevada democrats to vote for him. Only among the Clinton faithful is a 5% margin considered a landslide. One wonders if these journalists really, really like Hillary, or are they just bucking for a cushy job at the Clinton Foundation. (Nice work if you can get it, schmoozing with billionaires, jetting off to Davos on private jets, and if you’re lucky, getting full use of Bill’s Penthouse Lounge VIP card).


If they were so inclined, they could have spun the Democrat results in an entirely different way. Despite spending months building an infrastructure in Nevada, Hillary barely held on to wrest a much-needed victory from the surging Sanders. The Vermont Senator had essentially written off the state, having spent very little time and money there. Despite this, he came within a fraction of upsetting the struggling Clinton machine. Even more disturbing, Sanders actually outpolled Clinton among the crucial Hispanic vote.


Her substantial advantage among African-Americans, Hispanics and other minorities is crucial to counter the fact that everybody else (except aging feminists) favors Sanders by a substantial margin.


The election could have been reported this way, except those tasked with creating the rough draft of history have already decided Sanders can’t beat anybody, but Hillary has a decent shot of knocking off Trump. Obviously, conventional wisdom says there’s no way a bullying, buffoonish blowhard like Trump can defeat Hillary in a national election. Of course, conventional wisdom has been sticking a fork in The Donald since last summer and he continues to lead the Republican race.


It would be interesting to see what would happen if Trump did in fact face Hillary. Yes, Trump seems to have a ceiling of around 35% in the Republican Party, but where will Bernie’s people go if he loses? To Hillary? Not likely. They seem to hate Hillary more than even Republicans do. It is stunning how many Sanders supporters regard Trump as their second choice.


Despite the risk that their advocacy might blow up in their face, certainly Trump gives Hillary the best chance to win. Certainly more so than Rubio. Rubio has polled well against Hillary for months, and has only gotten stronger as his name recognition has grown. Which is why the media felt compelled to make such a big deal about his stumble in the New Hampshire debate, and why his fifth place finishing was regarded as potentially fatal to his prospects.


Reporters twist themselves into knots trying to decree that the nominating process is as good as over. The other day one of those dybbuks cited Trump’s “overwhelming lead,” pointing out that he has “nearly six times as many delegates” as his closest competitor. Which is true. He has around 58, while Rubio and Cruz have 10 apiece. Since he only needs 1237, it’s easy to see why those other guys should just pack it in.


It reminds me of my schtick on Opening Day, when, say, Miguel Cabrera hits a homer and has 3 RBI. I’ll say he’s on a pace to hit a record 162 home runs and 486 RBI. Of course, I’m kidding. When the CNN Bubble Head says Trump has an overwhelming lead, it’s entirely possible she believes it.


Of course, the predominant media are allowed to tell themselves any stories they want if it will help them sleep at night. We the people, on the other hand, are under no obligation to believe them. In fact, one could argue it is our patriotic duty to ignore them.

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